I always thought I could trust you, at least from one year of working experience with you, I could safely say "We're good, better than normal friends."

a month ago, when I got a huge shock and disappointment from you, I wondered to myself what I expected. And the answer was "definitely not this."

why did you have to do this to me? why did you have to lie, hide, pull away whenever i ask you about the topic? you said you tried to find the time to talk to me, but i didn't see any effort from you. instead i gave you chances, asked you whether you're going for training etc. but you didn't reciporcate my feelings, did you? i wanted us to have fun together, join as a group, have fun as a group, and laugh like how we used to. it was a very simple wish, something we had done so many times in the past.

but you just didn't think along the same line as me and choose a different path, and trying hard to cover these footsteps you left behind, thinking i would be sympathetic and forgive you. to forgive and forget, i can't do. i can forgive, but i can't forget. 

i know it is plain petty of me to relive this topic, when i told you it's over and i didn't want to harp over it. maybe i am a hypocritical person. but i have always trusted friends, and believed that my friends are worth trusting, until you broke this trust.

i'm susceptible to negative comments about you now. and i'm susceptible to all the ugly feelings that boiled up in me. how long can we remain as friends in my heart? i really, really don't know.